I spent 4th of July weekend with friends in La Crosse, which was awesome. Tons of food, booze, and jet skis! The perfect midwestern summer holiday.

The house I stayed in had cable, which meant that I got to catch up on the current season of The Surreal Life on VH-1. This time it's Mini-Me from Austin Powers, some male model from the Old Navy commercials, some chick who won America's Next Top Model (and if she really is America's Next Top Model, what is she doing on The Surreal Life, anyhoo?), some scary drag queen-looking wrestler chick named China Doll, Jane Wiedlin from the Go-Go's (yeah!), Da Brat (a hip-hop star that I've never heard of, natch), and the guy who played Peter Brady--who was and still is frickin' HOT (He is! Shut up!)

Here's this season in a nutshell: Mini-Me and the Male Model (great band name, by the way) have become tight; China Doll is a scary-ass drunk; and Top Model Chick is in love with Peter Brady (who wouldn't be?). That's pretty much it, as far as I can see. Da Brat doesn't do much of anything except threaten people with bodily harm if they piss her off, and Jane Wiedlin sits around making wry observations and sipping martinis. If I were there, (and this is the one season where I'd totally love to be), I'd be hanging with Jane, drinking martinis and pumping her for dirt on Belinda Carlisle and battling the Top Model Chick for the affections of Peter Brady. I could totally handle the humiliation of being on the show just for those opportunities. I guess I'd have to do something first like become a drunk wrestler or star on a failed TV series, but truthfully I'd rather just skip all that and go straight to the Surreal Life. That show rocks!