Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Game of Thrones: Why I'm not watching it.

Big "Game of Thrones" fan, huh? That's super. No, really - I mean it. Good for you. 
All kidding aside, I'm not knocking Game of Thrones fans. Some of my best friends are Game of Thrones fans. From the reviews I've read, the show does seem interesting. I mean--royalty, intrigue, mythical creatures, orgies, dwarf sex--it definitely doesn't sound boring or formulaic. And I love Peter Dinklage (see The Station Agent if you haven't. Beautiful film.). Also, the books are HUGE, and I can appreciate that. In this day and age I applaud any novel or series that can compel people to step away from Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, or whatever and read a goddamn book. Being an author myself, I have a vested interest in that sort of thing. That's why I don't have a problem with the much-maligned 50 Shades of Grey series. In fact, I actually bought and read the first book just to see what the fuss was about. Sure, the writing was god-awful, the plot laughable, and the "scandalous" sex scenes were alternately dull and unintentionally funny. But it got people reading. And, like Twilight, it will continue to spawn countless rip-offs....rip-offs that many people will read. See my point?

But back to the Game of Thrones TV adaptation. Again, I'm not hating on the fans. Not at all. Just don't try to convince me to watch it. Really, give up now. It's not happening. I'd sooner sit through a Jennifer Lopez movie marathon, starting with Gigli and ending with Jersey Girl, with The Back-Up Plan, Enough, What To Expect When You're Expecting, The Wedding Planner and Monster-in-Law sandwiched in between. (Note: you know how I say I love bad movies? Jennifer Lopez flicks are not the sort of bad movies I'm talking about.)  

God bless my empty uterus.
There are plenty of reasons I'm not watching Game of Thrones, and here they are: beheadings, dismemberment, mutilations, throat slashings, animal murder, "characters' disgusting enjoyment of violence against women", and an episode so horrifically gory that it's even alienated some of its hardcore fans.

I can't stand excessive violence, real or fictional, in movies or on TV. It upsets me to the point of panic attacks. No joke. It's just how I am. This makes me somewhat of an oddball, in that my views on violent movies and TV programs seem to diametrically oppose the attitudes of the mainstream. The majority of audiences appear to be just fine with programs depicting gory subject matter, whether the gore is gratuitous (Game of Thrones) or mostly off-screen and implied (CSI, Law and Order SVU, and any number of popular police dramas). The thing that really kills me--especially when it comes to television--is the mentality that violence and brutality are A-OK. But sex and nudity? HOLY SHIT NO THAT'S IMMORAL OH MY GOD THINK OF THE CHILDREN! It's one of the prevailing attitudes in American culture that has always baffled me. 

To be fair, Game of Thrones is something of an exception to my sex vs. violence argument, as it's chock full of both sex and violence (something for everyone!). It's also on HBO, a channel that pretty much has free reign to depict whatever the hell they please, short of hardcore porn and snuff films. But again, it's not the sex that I object to. If Game of Thrones solely revolved around elaborate wood nymph orgies, I might even tune in just to see what the hell a wood nymph orgy looks like. But it's not all freaky-deaky fantasy-novel-type sex scenes. It's a whole lot of blood. Fake red corn syrup blood--but you catch my drift. 

Also, it airs on Sundays, and Sundays are sacred. Sundays are for Mad Men.

It's Draper time, baby.




       

        
     







1 comment:

Ms Sparrow said...

Since I don't get HBO, I've never seen Game of Thrones. I'm not sure
I'd watch it anyway. I'm a big fan of Peter Dinklage (loved the Station Agent!) but not the rest of the cast. I've heard about the over-the-top gore and violence which is kinda off-putting. However, I've been a faithful viewer of The Borgias on Showtime. I'm not sure how it compares in terms of violence, but Jeremy Irons is a big plus.
I still have not gotten into Mad Men--maybe because I lived thru the 50's. Is the series winding down soon? In fairness, I should mention that I'm also a fan of The Walking Dead. (Love them zombies!)