Oh, for crying out loud.

I have a few questions. First of all, Mandy Moore and Britney have been in the public consciousness for what, five years tops? And now it's time for them to start vomiting up Best of/Greatest Hits albums? What's next, a Lifetime Achievement award for Beyonce? (And at the risk of sounding like an old fogey who just doesn't "get it," I'd like to point out what a stupid name Beyonce is. Clearly, her parents were high). Also, Kelly Clarkson is still around? Ditto Clay Aiken (who?)? As for Jessica Simpson, (or J.Simp, as they call her over at Fametracker) she totally looks like a porn star on the cover of that Christmas album. I caught her Christmas "variety" special last week out of morbid curiousity. It was pretty damned hilarious, especially when she sang--that chick opens her mouth so wide she looks like a python trying to swallow a rabbit. (I wonder if her jaw comes unhinged, too? Icky thought.)

The good news is that Duran Duran, U2, Rod Stewart, Gwen Stefani and Elliott Smith (even though he's dead) all have new albums out, and Barenaked Ladies and Chris Isaak have just released holiday compilations, so there's at least a few options for oldsters like me this season. Not that I've bought any yet, but that's what gift certificates are for.