Just when you thought it was safe...

Okay, this is too hilarious/wrong/bizarre/sad/awesome not to post:

A man in the U.K. is wanted by authorities for repeated counts of aggravated butt-sniffing. The “butt bandit” (that’s my new name for him) stalks his victims in grocery store aisles and while they are comparing labels, he silently brings nose to ass for a sniff. Noooo! Watch him in action as he is caught committing multiple acts of butt-sniffery on this supermarket surveillance tape. The “butt bandit” is considered armed (with a nose) and dangerous to all unsuspecting butts no matter size, shape, gender, or smelliness.

News items like this make me feel better about myself. No matter how shitty things get, I can always look at people like this and think, "Yeah, my life might be sucky, but at least I'm not that guy." Imagine having an uncontrollable urge to (repeatedly) sniff the ass of a random stranger in public. And then getting caught on video. And then having that video end up on the internet, so that every asshole (heh) with a computer can watch endless clips of you nose-deep in some grocery store clerk's butt.

Now, don't you feel better?