Friday, February 08, 2013

I try not to borrow too many clips from Everything Is Terrible, even though I'm constantly fighting the urge to post about 90% of their videos on my blog and pretend like I found/made the clips myself (which, for the record, I haven't done yet. As far as you know). But this one was just too good. I knew I had to share, and I didn't care about being derivative.

Because all art is derivative.



These shots are very nineties-heavy. Dead giveaways include:

  • Plaid. Lots of it. 
  • Jeans pulled up to the armpits.
  • Floppy haircuts on the men and boys.
  • It was the only decade in which Ricki Lake, David Arquette, Skeet Ulrich, and Cuba Gooding Jr. were allowed to make movies. Well, movies that weren't direct-to-DVD. 
  • Oops, forgot that Ricki Lake was in Hairspray in 1988 (the ONLY worthwhile movie she's done.) Seriously, she should have stuck to John Waters films. I actually paid to see that abominable "Mrs. Winterbourne" with some girlfriends when it was in theaters. I'm still pissed about that one. 
  • I'm also still pissed about spending 9 bucks to see Eyes Wide Shit Shut in 1999. I also hated the stupid film critics who bent over backwards to praise that nut-filled turd of a movie. The worst offender was a reviewer in NUVO who wrote, "If you're the kind of person who loved Runaway Bride, you'll hate Eyes Wide Shut." Oh yeah, what if I hated both films, asshole? Do you not realize that there are more than two types of movies? 
  • Sorry, I didn't mean for this to be a rant on wasted money and dumb film critics.  
  • Back to the above clips, I totally didn't get that last one, the mom and kids shouting "CHIHUAHUAS!" I'm a cat person though. Maybe I'm not meant to get it.
  • Say what you will, the best part was Rob Lowe emoting at 1:34. He emotes hard. Go Rob go!
"There wasn't even a St. Elmo. They made it up. They made it up because they thought they
needed it to keep them going when times got tough, just like you're making up all of this.
We're all going through it. Hey, it's our time on the edge." 
Back with a new post soon. I promise to make it 100% all natural, original material. 



5 comments:

  1. I love it! The soaring music, the uplifting close-ups with understated emotions and all the hugs--just what the director ordered. Did I see Jay Leno on crutches? And what was with the dog walking sadly up a hill? I never saw the Chihuahua movie, but I bet that last clip was from it.

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  2. Yes, that was Jay Leno! No idea what that was about. I also spotted John Ritter, Michelle Williams (I think?), Gary Busey, Mimi Rogers, the cop from Die Hard, Jean-Claude Van Damme, and a ton of other actors who looked familiar but I couldn't think of their names. Every time I watch this, I notice someone new.

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  3. ...oh, I forgot Don Cheadle at the beginning! Also Alan Arkin, James Coburn, Ann-Margret, Henry Thomas from "E.T." Britney Spears(!), Steve Guttenburg, Lorenzo Lamas--who creeps me out b/c I just realized he looks like one of my exes whom I'm not fond of--Harry Dean Stanton, Jason Alexander...I'm sure I'll remember more soon.

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  4. Yeah, the images come at you hard and fast. You have to be quick on the draw to ID them!

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  5. Anonymous1:29 PM

    Back off David Arquette! He was good in that one movie, you know, the one movie about that guy....ok, maybe not.

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