Monday, October 28, 2024

 Before I begin, lemme try something here:

SIMON REID SIMON REID SIMON REID

Okay, now that I have some of the internet's attention....

The Simon Reid saga was recently featured in an episode of a TV series called Love Rats, airing on British TV in early 2024. Then last month, a major streaming service picked up the series, exposing the Simon Reid story to a wider audience (I don't think Love Rats is scheduled to air in the US, but you never know).

I can always tell if there's been significant mention of Simon Reid in the media just by checking the Top Locations in the "Audience" section of my blog stats. The UK is where most of my traffic comes from, of course, while the US always seems to be in second place, followed by an assortment of other English speaking countries, as well as a smattering of European ones.

But then, whenever a show like Love Rats airs, the blog stats on my "Audience" get a little more diverse and interesting. Although the UK is usually still in first place as far as my readership, in the past few weeks I've had readers in countries as varied as Lithuania, Guam, Pakistan, Vietnam, and Gibraltar. Now, seeing the Gibraltar stat made me laugh; one of Simon's more ridiculous lies was that he was involved in Operation Flavius back in 1988, helping to thwart an attack on Gibraltar by the IRA. Hahahahahaha.


Say it with me:



Another thing that usually happens is I start getting a barrage of messages on social media from people who saw the doc and looked me up. Most of the time they just get in touch to say something like, "Sorry you went through that, glad Simon got nailed." But I also get a fair amount of people writing to share their own experiences of being scammed, lied to, and/or exploited by a romantic partner, friend, colleague, or stranger. While stories like that piss me off and bum me out (especially if there's no justice or happy ending for the victim), this time they actually got me thinking back to the way I felt that time (sixteen years ago now!) in 2008 after learning that my "boyfriend," (ugh) Simon Reid, was a big fat fraud. 

It's a time I remember well; a time that I was very much "in my feelings," as the kids say. I dealt with my initial shock by going into hibernation mode for two days. I turned off all the lights and closed all the blinds in my apartment, partly to hide away from the world, partly because it was August and hot as balls. I then sank into a Malbec and Xanax haze (please don't try that combination at home, or anywhere) and blasted a bunch of angry songs. I don't remember all the music I played, but I know for sure "Liar" by Sex Pistols, Liz Phair's "Fuck and Run," and "You're Breaking My Heart" by Harry Nilsson were in the mix.                

Long story short, the latest media blitz and wave of messages I've received has inspired me to make a Spotify playlist. I started with the songs I mentioned above, then added to them with a carefully curated selection of my favorite "FUCK YOU!" tracks. It was fun! I have to say, though, many of the songs don't really reflect my attitude towards Simon anymore. Time heals most wounds, and I no longer have that same rage when I think of him and what he did to me. The thing that does royally piss me off, however, is knowing about all the chaos and hurt Simon Reid still causes anyone unfortunate enough to get close to him. And that's never ever going to change.
 
With all that out of the way, here's my playlist. It's dedicated to Simon Reid, but created for anyone who's ever been emotionally beat up by someone they trusted. And the sentiments expressed are not anti-men or otherwise gender specific. Whether you are female, male, or somewhere beyond the binary, you'll probably find something that resonates with your experience. Or maybe just discover a semi-obscure artist you end up loving, like I did! See, I couldn't find Debbie Harry's version of Liar, Liar on Spotify, but I did find a great cover of the song by a band with the awesome name of My Expansive Awareness. I've been listening to more of their stuff and really digging it. Apparently they're so indie that they don't even have a Wikipedia page, but I did manage to find their website and learned that they are "a neo-psychedelic garage band," and that they're originally from Spain (hey, like Alec Baldwin's wife! Heheheh jk jk she's a big fat liar, too).  

"How you say.....coo-cumber?"

So for anyone in the throes of heartache and in need of catharsis, here. Have some of mine. 



Tuesday, October 08, 2024

Women of America?
Stop fucking this dipshit. 



Bagging a Kennedy might look impressive on paper, girls, but let's be real. For every John-John in that family, there are at least a dozen asshats like alleged rapist William Kennedy Smith, Michael Kennedy, who shtupped his teenage babysitter and died skiing into a tree playing football with a water bottle, and now that fuckhead RFK Jr. 

Don't think I'm knocking the entire Kennedy family, by the way. I'm cool with the decent ones in that clan. It's just that--as with most old school Irish Catholics--they breed like rabbits, and when you have that many kids, you're gonna have a fair amount of fuck-ups in the mix.

The weird thing is, I actually saw RFK Jr. speak back in 2003, a few months before I moved to Minnesota. I got together with some of my work friends from the Indianapolis Art Center and we all walked over to Park Tudor, a ritzy private school just up the street from IAC, where Robert F. Kennedy Jr. was giving a talk about a clean water initiative he was heading up at the time. (I did manage to find at least one article about this speaking tour from way back when.) My friends and I were all young, idealistic Democrat women excited by the prospect of seeing one of the Kennedy scions speak on the environment, a cause we were all passionate about. I don't actually remember a lot about the talk he gave, other than thinking that RFK Jr. wasn't a real dynamic speaker, but then again it was a pretty lowkey event in a small auditorium. One thing that does stick out in my memory is that about ten minutes into his speech, RFK suddenly stopped and said that the stage lights were hot and he needed to take off his sweater. It was awkward to watch him silently struggle out of this big thick sweater he was wearing, but it also humanized him. His lack of polish was sort of refreshing.   

The question is, was he just as batshit back then, and nobody knew? I mean, what a weird journey from environmental crusader to the Trump supporting, roadkill collecting, anti-vaxxer conspiracy theorist he is now. 

I haven't even been able to read about his dead animal fetish, stuff like that is just way too disturbing for me and I don't want to know. The anti-vaxxer thing just makes him a delusional moron, as does his association with Trump. In fact, there was just so much bizarre bullshit coming out about RFK that when the Olivia Nuzzi story broke, it was almost a relief. Like, oh--just an old-fashioned political sex scandal! For once, the guy does something normal.  

I admit it, I'm nervous as hell about the 2024 election. As optimistic as I try to be, I have PTSD from 2016 and I don't assume for a minute that the Democrats have this all sewn up. I'm hoping for the best, but preparing for the worst. That's why I'm grateful to RFK Jr's "digital affair" with Nuzzi for lightening the mood. (Seriously, am I the only one who thought for a split second that "digital affair" meant that they were caught sticking their fingers in each other? Apparently it just means they exchanged beaver shots and dick pics....not that I believe it stopped there, but whatever.)  

Now Olivia Nuzzi has been sacked from New York magazine and is accusing her ex Ryan Lizza of blackmail, RFK Jr. is claiming the whole brouhaha was a Fatal Attraction-type thing and Nuzzi just couldn't keep away from his geriatric penis, and Cheryl Hines is leaking stories to People magazine about a possible divorce (yeah, she's not going anywhere), and I'm just enjoying the whole shitshow. I say, keep it coming! 







     


Saturday, September 21, 2024

 This is the day the GOP has made,
let us REJOICE and be glad!



Question: WHERE has Mark Robinson been all my life, and how did I not know about this freak until his posts from Nude Africa (is that not the most hilariously awesome name for a sketchy porn site?) hit the news cycle a few days back?


"Please God, let me remember my RedTube password."

But wait, there's more! 

"Mein Kampf is a good read," the user, dubbed 'minisoldr,' wrote in a thread seeking book recommendations. "It's very informative and not at all what I thought it would be. It's a real eye opener." Publicly, Robinson has also criticized the civil rights movement of the 1960s and attacked prominent Black people in harsh and offensive terms--for instance, calling Michelle Obama a man and an "angry, anti-American, communist black lady" who speaks "ghetto" and "Wookiee."   -- WaPo, 9/20/24

You know all the rightwing chuds who are always saying, "But I can't be racist, I have a Black friend!" Mark Robinson is that Black friend. 

Right, white people? 



Yep, Mark Robinson sure is...special. The real question is, will all the crap that's come out hurt Robinson's chances in the NC gubernatorial election? Not with the MAGAts; those brainwashed mouth-breathers will vote for anyone who has the stamp of approval from Orange Jesus. As always, it's in the hands of the Democrats and the undecideds. 

By the way, who the fuck are these "undecideds?" Apparently they exist, but I've never met any. The thing that really scares me is the possibility that there are no undecideds, just stealth MAGAts who are (rightfully) too embarrassed to admit that they agree with Trump. And that's a horrifying thought.

In the meantime, however, I look forward to additional leaks (ewwww!) from this self-proclaimed Black Nazi. I don't know about you, but I'm eager for more Letters To Penthouse-style creative fiction about all the "threesums" he's had with his wife's sister and the mysterious "round-bottomed hotty" (who's most definitely from Canada).

  

 

Sunday, September 08, 2024



Tsk. And to think, I was once a (casual) fan of Russell Brand. 
 
I'll admit it, I even used to fancy the bloke. I thought he was sexy and funny in Forgetting Sarah Marshall, and I found him witty and intelligent in interviews. Then in the late aughts, something dire happened: I saw those uncensored naked photos of him getting arrested in Picadilly Circus. Suffice it to say, my crush on him did not survive seeing those images. ("Hashtag iykyk," as the kids say.) Even so, I still saw Get Him To the Greek when it was in theaters in 2010. I recall it being funny, but apparently not funny enough to make any sort of lasting impression, since all I remember about it now is that Mad Men-era Elisabeth Moss had a significant role. 

Yep, there she is, and that's all I remember about GHTTG.


I definitely stopped following Brand by the time he did that Arthur remake, which I most certainly did NOT see, because why the hell would anyone remake Arthur? Dudley Moore is the only Arthur, and Liza Minelli is the only Linda, and that film belongs in 1981 where it can remain wonderfully endearing and forever perfect. Don't fuck with it.

The next thing I knew, it was 2020 and Russell Brand was suddenly an anti-vaxxer with a podcast promoting QAnon talking points and Trumpian rhetoric, and I was pretty damn disappointed in him. I mean, when I was a fan back in the aughts he seemed so punk and irreverent, the furthest thing from the rightwing lapdog he's reportedly morphing into. And it's not so much that he's done this 180, it's more the realization that he was just a big fucking phony all along. The fact that he's also recently "found Jesus" and embraced Christianity is pretty suspect too, and yet very fucking predictable, considering that he got Me-Too'd last year with some serious rape allegations. What a perfect time to get religion! Just blame woke feminism for your legal woes, praise the Lord, and bro out with Tucker Carlson and the other psychopaths.

If ever you find yourself onstage praying next to Tucker Carlson, 
you may want to question the life choices that led you there.

The one positive spin I can put on this is that now that he's gone to the dark side, there is absolutely no going back for him. If he wants to act again, he has to settle for starring in terrible "anti-woke" fare alongside Z-listers like Kevin Sorbo and the Quaid brothers. Also, he better be able to afford good security detail for the rest of his existence, because otherwise he will be getting up close and personal with his new MAGA admirers on a daily basis. Hey Russell, shopping for pumpkins at the farmer's market? Here comes a smelly adult in an American flag shirt who wants to talk to you about LGBT "groomers." Taking your kids to school? Hi, this paranoid schizophrenic would like to discuss how to stop the Deep State using Jewish space lazers to mine rare tellurium oxysalt minerals in South Africa so Pat Sajak can prevent Chelsea Clinton from giving birth to the next Antichrist on Columbus Day, 2026. 

So yeah, have fun with all that, ya twat!

What did I learn from the uncensored version of this photo? 
That Katy Perry is definitely NOT a size queen. 








     

Tuesday, March 12, 2024

Well, this is terrible/sad/spooky/coincidental. I was just writing about the guy 12 days ago. Not cool, universe. Not cool.


No cause of death has been reported, but he had a brain aneurysm in 2001 at the age of 43, so perhaps there were some lingering issues that affected his health. Hopefully, his passing was peaceful. 

I really meant it when I said the man is a GOD. 


Just afloat on the sea
Find myself on a page of history
You know as I ride along
There's a memory of a song
About you,
And where you're meant to be....

One of his masterpieces (on the feel-good side)....


And I found a fantastic live performance of "Is It Like Today" from Late Night With David Letterman.

 

Dave always recognized musical chops, so I'm not surprised that he was a fan. 

Thursday, February 29, 2024

 

"And you know how it feels 
To get too high 
Too far
Too soon...."

Well, it's February 29th and I wanted to post something for the sake of posterity and also because I don't think I've ever posted on Leap Day before.

I was watching the Father Ted episode "Hell" the other day, that one where they're stuck in a camper van with the priest who's basically a frustrated theater queen (played by Graham Norton), and was reminded of this song and how much I love it. Ergo....


How did I not remember that Karl Wallinger was in The Waterboys (pre-World Party) because OMG I worship that dude! He's basically a god as far as I'm concerned. 

Anyway. Enjoy your Leap Day.

Please and Thank you.