COUNTDOWN TO D-DAY

You know how Herr Cheeto mocked Hillary for having all these A-list superstars (Beyonce, Lady Gaga, George Clooney, etc.) going to bat for her, and how he tried to say he didn't "need" the support of those heavy hitters because he wanted a low-key, dignified celebration of America and American values or whatever? 

via GIPHY

via GIPHY

via GIPHY

Yeah, not buying that for a second.

Seeing as how Donald Trump was, is, and always will be the most egregious famewhore who ever famewhored, the ONLY thing that matters to him is getting his bitter orange ass sucked by the cream of the crop, the most famous of the famous, the best of the best.

And he has to settle for Chachi Arcola from Happy Days and Jagger from General Hospital. 

Meanwhile, Hillary would've easily scored Richie Cunningham 

and Mick Jagger without breaking a sweat. 

   

That sort of schadenfruede is the only thing that's cheering me up about this whole mess. That, and the fact that Trump's narcissism is the only thing holding him together. I mean, when even right-wing douchetard Gene Simmons declines an offer to perform, you know The Great Pumpkin has gotta be like an ass hair away from suffering a giant orange meltdown. 

So it seems that at least he's getting the inauguration that he deserves. Cold comfort for sure, but in times like these you gotta take what you can get.