Before I begin, lemme try something here:

SIMON REID SIMON REID SIMON REID

Okay, now that I have some of the internet's attention....

The Simon Reid saga was recently featured in an episode of a TV series called Love Rats, airing on British TV in early 2024. Then last month, a major streaming service picked up the series, exposing the Simon Reid story to a wider audience (I don't think Love Rats is scheduled to air in the US, but you never know).

I can always tell if there's been significant mention of Simon Reid in the media just by checking the Top Locations in the "Audience" section of my blog stats. The UK is where most of my traffic comes from, of course, while the US always seems to be in second place, followed by an assortment of other English speaking countries, as well as a smattering of European ones.

But then, whenever a show like Love Rats airs, the blog stats on my "Audience" get a little more diverse and interesting. Although the UK is usually still in first place as far as my readership, in the past few weeks I've had readers in countries as varied as Lithuania, Guam, Pakistan, Vietnam, and Gibraltar. Now, seeing the Gibraltar stat made me laugh; one of Simon's more ridiculous lies was that he was involved in Operation Flavius back in 1988, helping to thwart an attack on Gibraltar by the IRA. Hahahahahaha.

Say it with me:

Another thing that usually happens is I start getting a barrage of messages on social media from people who saw the doc and looked me up. Most of the time they just get in touch to say something like, "Sorry you went through that, glad Simon got nailed." But I also get a fair amount of people writing to share their own experiences of being scammed, lied to, and/or exploited by a romantic partner, friend, colleague, or stranger. While stories like that piss me off and bum me out (especially if there's no justice or happy ending for the victim), this time they actually got me thinking back to the way I felt that time (sixteen years ago now!) in 2008 after learning that my "boyfriend," (ugh) Simon Reid, was a big fat fraud. 

It's a time I remember well; a time that I was very much "in my feelings," as the kids say. I dealt with my initial shock by going into hibernation mode for two days. I turned off all the lights and closed all the blinds in my apartment, partly to hide away from the world, partly because it was August and hot as balls. I then sank into a Malbec and Xanax haze (please don't try that combination at home, or anywhere) and blasted a bunch of angry songs. I don't remember all the music I played, but I know for sure "Liar" by Sex Pistols, Liz Phair's "Fuck and Run," and "You're Breaking My Heart" by Harry Nilsson were in the mix.                

Long story short, the latest media blitz and wave of messages I've received has inspired me to make a Spotify playlist. I started with the songs I mentioned above, then added to them with a carefully curated selection of my favorite "FUCK YOU!" tracks. It was fun! I have to say, though, many of the songs don't really reflect my attitude towards Simon anymore. Time heals most wounds, and I no longer have that same rage when I think of him and what he did to me. The thing that does royally piss me off, however, is knowing about all the chaos and hurt Simon Reid still causes anyone unfortunate enough to get close to him. And that's never ever going to change.

 

With all that out of the way, here's my playlist. It's dedicated to Simon Reid, but created for anyone who's ever been emotionally beat up by someone they trusted. And the sentiments expressed are not anti-men or otherwise gender specific. Whether you are female, male, or somewhere beyond the binary, you'll probably find something that resonates with your experience. Or maybe just discover a semi-obscure artist you end up loving, like I did! See, I couldn't find Debbie Harry's version of Liar, Liar on Spotify, but I did find a great cover of the song by a band with the awesome name of My Expansive Awareness. I've been listening to more of their stuff and really digging it. Apparently they're so indie that they don't even have a Wikipedia page, but I did manage to find their website and learned that they are "a neo-psychedelic garage band," and that they're originally from Spain (hey, like Alec Baldwin's wife! Heheheh jk jk she's a big fat liar, too).  

"How you say.....coo-cumber?"

So for anyone in the throes of heartache and in need of catharsis, here. Have some of mine. 

 

 This is the day the GOP has made,
let us REJOICE and be glad!

Question: WHERE has Mark Robinson been all my life, and how did I not know about this freak until his posts from Nude Africa (is that not the most hilariously awesome name for a sketchy porn site?) hit the news cycle a few days back?

"Please God, let me remember my RedTube password."

But wait, there's more! 

"Mein Kampf is a good read," the user, dubbed 'minisoldr,' wrote in a thread seeking book recommendations. "It's very informative and not at all what I thought it would be. It's a real eye opener." Publicly, Robinson has also criticized the civil rights movement of the 1960s and attacked prominent Black people in harsh and offensive terms--for instance, calling Michelle Obama a man and an "angry, anti-American, communist black lady" who speaks "ghetto" and "Wookiee."   -- WaPo, 9/20/24

You know all the rightwing chuds who are always saying, "But I can't be racist, I have a Black friend!" Mark Robinson is that Black friend. 

Right, white people? 

Yep, Mark Robinson sure is...special. The real question is, will all the crap that's come out hurt Robinson's chances in the NC gubernatorial election? Not with the MAGAts; those brainwashed mouth-breathers will vote for anyone who has the stamp of approval from Orange Jesus. As always, it's in the hands of the Democrats and the undecideds. 

By the way, who the fuck are these "undecideds?" Apparently they exist, but I've never met any. The thing that really scares me is the possibility that there are no undecideds, just stealth MAGAts who are (rightfully) too embarrassed to admit that they agree with Trump. And that's a horrifying thought.

In the meantime, however, I look forward to additional leaks (ewwww!) from this self-proclaimed Black Nazi. I don't know about you, but I'm eager for more Letters To Penthouse-style creative fiction about all the "threesums" he's had with his wife's sister and the mysterious "round-bottomed hotty" (who's most definitely from Canada).

  

 

SIMON REID: 

STILL A LYING LIAR WHO LIES

Remember this asshole?

Note: I wrote this up a few months ago, but since then I've been so consumed with our move (hello, Utah!) that it got shelved for a bit. However, today--June 6--happens to be Simon Reid's birthday, so what a perfect time to post this, no? This date has stuck in my head not for sentimental reasons, but for how apropos it is that this sociopath was unleashed upon the world on 6/6/66. Not only does he bear the mark of the beast, he is the beast.  

After all these years, I still get numerous comments and emails regarding my original Simon Reid post from way back in 2008. Most of the messages are along the lines of "Saw your story on TV, glad you guys nailed that dickweed," etc, but a lot of them--especially over the past year--have been people checking in to report their own encounters with Simon.

According to the latest scoop, Simon Reid is now living in Spain and hanging out with British and American tourists hiking the Camino de Santiago, which is a Catholic pilgrimage-type trail that winds through part of Spain. Apparently Martin Sheen made a movie about it a few years back, and the trail has seen a surge in visitors since then.

Anyhoo, the first I heard about Simon's Spanish exploits was when I got an email last summer from a very nice young couple in Texas who had just returned from Spain, where they'd hiked the Camino trail and spent some time hanging out with a friendly Brit named Simon Reid who claimed to be a "retired surgeon" (hahahahahahaha--oh, my sides) who had come to the Camino trail to connect with his spiritual side, or something. He had a woman with him, of course, but the nature of their relationship was unclear. (From what the Texas couple said, I got that this was yet another girlfriend Simon was stringing along.) For authentication, they attached a photo of themselves posing with Simon and his mark outside of a cafe.

The most recent report I've gotten is an email from a woman who (from what I can deduce) was tentatively involved with Simon for a short time while visiting Spain in March 2016, but was scared right off the lot when she Googled his name and found out all the dirt on his sketchy lying ass.

Among the torrent of bullshit he fed this would-be girlfriend? 

• He claimed to be a retired British commando sniper-turned-trauma surgeon who served in Afghanistan. 
• He claimed to have developed a form of leukemia caused by removing thousands of plutonium tipped bullets from patients. 
• Oh, and he has a maths degree from Oxford.

Excuse me for a minute. 

via GIPHY

via GIPHY

via GIPHY

PLEASE NOTE:

It's the sheer audacity of Simon's ridiculous bullshit stories that has me amused; I am not making fun of this girlfriend, or anyone else who has been swindled (emotionally or financially) by Simon Reid. No one knows better than I do how frighteningly adept this fuckhandle is at winning your confidence and portraying himself as a chivalrous, fun, self-deprecating, honorable man. He's a textbook pathological liar who is excellent at reading, assessing, and exploiting people. Although he's never quite successful in the end--as long as there is an internet he will continue to be exposed for the vile fraud that he is--but Simon doesn't play the long game, anyway. He's not the type of conman who slowly and surely gains your trust over a period of time. The guy plays the numbers and he always has several schemes (and women) going at once, and his pattern shows that he will always cut and run once he realizes that his marks are onto him, leaving everyone in the dust. No goodbyes, no explanations, no apologies. Just a shitload of hideous LIES.

So for anyone reading this who has been done in by Simon Reid, whether he's "borrowed" (stolen) money or fucked you over emotionally (he likes to do both whenever possible), please remember:

• He is a cold, calculating individual who feels no remorse for the people he harms
• He has a long, long, long history of victimizing those who are close to him, including two ex-wives, countless girlfriends, and even his own parents and children 
• He is an evil asswipe
• It's not your fault

Lastly--for the sake of your own mental, emotional, physical, and financial safety--RUN, DON'T WALK far, far, far away from his damaged, broken, sketchball ass.

And now, an important message from Billy Joel....

A digression: this is the good Billy Joel. You can tell, because of his hair. (Ever notice that when Billy Joel got rid of the Jewfro, his songs started sucking balls? It's like his mighty Jewfro gave him all his songwriting powers. Then he had to go and cut it off and his music went straight down the toilet.) Actually, I think Pressure was post-Jewfro, so maybe that song is the one exception to the rule. Now that was a cool-ass video. I love the part where he's at that cocktail party and the lady goes flying sideways into that doorway full of milk and Billy gets sucked down into the carpet. Lots of cocaine went into the making of that one, I'm guessing. 

But it was so totally worth it.      

via GIPHY

If you have your own Simon Reid sightings or stories, please tell all in the comments (or email me at simonreidtips@gmail.com if you don't want to share publicly). Keep spreading the word. Let's warn Simon Reid's future paramours, landlords, employers, "business" partners, and anyone else who Googles his name.

Knowledge = power.  

A few words about Angelina "chicken pox" Jolie

"OMG you guys, I totally have chicken pox! I can't believe it!"
Neither can anyone with a functioning cerebral cortex, honey.

I've mentioned my loathing of St. Angie several times before on this blog. In fact, looking back, I realize I've devoted a lot more space to her than I should have. So, for the last time, here I go. In the immortal words of my father: "I'm not going to tell you again!" 

When it comes to my knee-jerk revulsion to all things Jolie, I can't exactly pinpoint when it started. I know that earlier in her career (before the Brad Pitting and all the compulsive child collecting) I barely paid her any mind. I knew she existed; I even saw some of her movies: Girl Interrupted, Gia, and Tomb Raider--that last one, in my defense, was not my idea. It was the summer of 2001, I saw it on a date, and aside from being bored out of my skull, I don't remember much about the movie itself. Ironically, the guy who dragged me to see Tomb Raider apparently had high expectations for it and spent the whole car ride home ranting about how awful it was. I was like *shrug* "Okay, whatevs," which kind of sums up my whole reaction to Angelina Jolie at the time. I didn't have much interest in her movies, she was just another "bleh" Hollywood actress churning out mainstream crap that held little interest for me.   

I think it was around the time she was trying out her whole emo persona (the goth-y/bloodletting/Billy Bob era) that I realized how much she grated. Not surprisingly, this was also when she started getting all that press for her contrived "edgy" shenanigans. The whole thing just reeked of shameless fame-trolling, and the fact that the media seemed to be swallowing the line of bullshit she was trying to run on everyone (at the same time praising her "acting" skills...wha?) made her all the more nauseating.

The Brad Pitt thing sort of clinched it for me. Now, I know the tabloids would have you believe that every woman in America still cares deeply about the breakup of "Brad and Jen" and Angelina's role in it, but let's get real here. Brad Pitt, IIRC, was known to be something of a slut during his marriage to Aniston (and well before that), so the news that he couldn't keep it in his pants on the set of that stupid movie was hardly earth-shattering. Also, was the general public that emotionally invested in the Aniston-Pitt union? God, I sincerely hope not. No, what chapped my ass about that whole dumb media circus is that was the moment in time that Angelina's fish-lipped mug became completely inescapable, and it's been that way ever since. 

AND THEN, in light of the Sony leak and Jolie's chicken pox fakery, I read something about Jolie's past so wretched and disturbing that it made my blood boil. Following a link from an article about famous people with mental illnesses, I came upon this. I wouldn't even recommend clicking on it, because it's vile. To sum it up, the article references a viral video in which Angelina Jolie "talk(s) about beating her pet dog to death (whom she states died a short while later), trying to kill her pet snake, and other acts of cruelty towards other animals that were in her care." If you have any doubts about the validity of that information, the video is embedded in the above link, where you can hear it straight from the skank's mouth.

 

So that's it then. Angelina Jolie is a psychopathic animal abuser. I'm not fooled for a minute by her whole Mother Teresa act. I don't care what sort of "humanitarian" efforts she attaches herself to. She could find the cure for cancer and broker a lasting peace agreement between Israel and Palestine and the woman will forever be a piece of subhuman garbage. It makes me wonder now about my years-long visceral abhorrence of that woman. Maybe I could smell the evil on her. Or maybe it was just a coincidence. 

At any rate, I refuse to support any of her movies or anything she "directs", "writes," or touches with a ten-foot pole. In fact, I'd rather be forced, Clockwork Orange-style, to watch a week-long marathon of Keeping Up With the Kardashians than to see five seconds of footage of Angelina Jolie ever again. 

And Brad Pitt can also take his toys and go home. I'm done with him too.