I try not to borrow too many clips from Everything Is Terrible, even though I'm constantly fighting the urge to post about 90% of their videos on my blog and pretend like I found/made the clips myself (which, for the record, I haven't done yet. As far as you know). But this one was just too good. I knew I had to share, and I didn't care about being derivative.

Because all art is derivative.



These shots are very nineties-heavy. Dead giveaways include:

• Plaid. Lots of it. 
• Jeans pulled up to the armpits.
• Floppy haircuts on the men and boys.
• It was the only decade in which Ricki Lake, David Arquette, Skeet Ulrich, and Cuba Gooding Jr. were allowed to make movies. Well, movies that weren't direct-to-DVD. 
• Oops, forgot that Ricki Lake was in Hairspray in 1988 (the ONLY worthwhile movie she's done.) Seriously, she should have stuck to John Waters films. I actually paid to see that abominable "Mrs. Winterbourne" with some girlfriends when it was in theaters. I'm still pissed about that one. 
• I'm also still pissed about spending 9 bucks to see Eyes Wide Shit Shut in 1999. I also hated the stupid film critics who bent over backwards to praise that nut-filled turd of a movie. The worst offender was a reviewer in NUVO who wrote, "If you're the kind of person who loved Runaway Bride, you'll hate Eyes Wide Shut." Oh yeah, what if I hated both films, asshole? Do you not realize that there are more than two types of movies? 
• Sorry, I didn't mean for this to be a rant on wasted money and dumb film critics.  
• Back to the above clips, I totally didn't get that last one, the mom and kids shouting "CHIHUAHUAS!" I'm a cat person though. Maybe I'm not meant to get it.
• Say what you will, the best part was Rob Lowe emoting at 1:34. He emotes hard. Go Rob go!

"There wasn't even a St. Elmo. They made it up. They made it up because they thought they
needed it to keep them going when times got tough, just like you're making up all of this.
We're all going through it. Hey, it's our time on the edge." 

Back with a new post soon. I promise to make it 100% all natural, original material. 

Borrowed this from Everything Is Terrible, one of my favorite websites in the history of ever.



There are so many jaw-droppingly awesome/awful moments packed into this clip, I scarcely know where to begin.

• "Come on, don't put me on. I know you got a bowling ball. You became a champion bowlah! You joke with me, hah hah hah." Arnold sounds like he's reading from a script penned by Tommy Wiseau. You might say that Tommy Wiseau sounds like Arnold Schwarzenegger, but you would be wrong. Arnold sounds like Tommy Wiseau.
• Arnold telling the children that the devil came to his house on Christmas. And then the tender violin music starts up in the background. (And then he banged the maid. The devil made him do it!)
• It's 1988 and that room is just teeming with Cosby sweaters.  
• Mike Tyson, future convicted rapist, singing to children. 
• Randy Travis, future butt-nekkid Trans Am-driving singer, is there too.
• Maria Shriver at 2:09 sporting some serious feathered hair. 
• Any time I see Danny De Vito in something, I automatically think "No no no De Vito!" (War of the Roses joke. Look it up, it's a good one.) 

I want to have tea with Lisa Gail Allred!

This video has been making the rounds on the internets today, and it's so awesomely bad that I knew I had to post it. I can't help but like Lisa Gail. She can't sing to save her ass (I never thought I'd say this, but PLEASE woman--AUTOTUNE!) but hey, neither can Dylan and he's still awesome. I give her +10 for enthusiasm and for having so much fun cavorting with the cowboys while rocking that turquoise jewelry. Especially for the turquoise jewelry. Seriously, it takes a special kind of person to do justice to turquoise, and I applaud her for it.  

I also hope that she has a good sense of humor about all the crap she's going to get for this. And I hope she has a loving and supportive husband/significant other who appreciates her and who--ahem--observes her three-second rule.

This one is for Juliette...

Sweetest video EVER! I luvs Charley xx