Saturday, January 07, 2006

Where's the Love?

The above link is from The Superficial, my new favorite website because it cracks me up. If you don't feel like clicking on it, here's the gist of the report: Basically, Jude Law, one of my favorite actors, is a giant manwhore. Check out this observation (again, from the above link):

"'s always difficult to film when you've got Jude Law running around the set with his pants down humping everybody he can get his hands on."

Now, that troubles me a bit. Not the assertion that Jude Law is a slut, although I think it's a bit unfair because all we know for sure is that he got caught boning his nanny last summer. (Well, not his nanny, his kids' nanny. Incidentally, can Jude Law have his own nanny? And if so, can I apply for that gig? I'd put in overtime, and I'd work for minimum wage.) But everyone has jumped on this (no pun intended) and now the big joke about Jude is that he'll hump anything. Again, unfair, because (to quote Dirk Diggler) we've all done things we're not proud of. But, I know--make your bed and lie in it, you play you pay, and blah blee bleh. If this is true (that he will and does bone anyone and everyone) that I am terribly troubled by this--for one reason: he hasn't got around to me yet.

And I'm a huge fan.

Exhibit A: I liked him when he really was Jude the Obscure, having seen and enjoyed his early work in I Love You, I Love You Not and Music From Another Room way, waaaay back in the day (like, 1997).

Exhibit B: I saw Alfie in the theatre (first run!) and LIKED it, unlike the snotty ass critics who panned the film and his performance. Hear that, Jude? I liked Alfie! I thought you were good. Good, dammit, good!

Exhibit C: At my Halloween party, I argued the case that Jude Law is way hotter than Orlando Bloom. I backed up my argument with some sound evidence ("Have you seen the previews for Alfie? Ever seen Music From Another Room?"), but wasn't able to sway the Orlando Bloom fans in attendance. (which, ick. Orlando is an okay actor, but he looks too much like Justin Timberlake--which is not a good thing. Also, do you like the deep intellectual debates I have at my parties?)

So Jude. Dude. Seriously. I'm not going to be young forever. If you're really as cavalier about spreading around your DNA as the gossip rags would have us believe, it's time to pay up. I'm not joking. You know where to find me.

And bring that chauffer's uniform you wore in Alfie. Rowr.

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