Friday, July 14, 2017

"And there's one more thing: Nancy and I are hooked on heroin." 

Oh there's so much I've been meaning to post lately....UK vacation pics, writing stuff, book stuff, reviews, useless crap, etc. but I'm constantly pressed for time since I started working from home, so I'm just posting something that adds nothing at all to anything, but I like it 'cause it's funny. And it's Night Flight, and if you weren't already aware, Night Flight rules.


I know this video is (brilliantly) edited and all, but Nancy's pupils are HUGE. I suspect she was just saying yes to something.  

Friday, May 05, 2017

I'm sick of thinking about politics. I'm sick of talking about politics. So instead of writing about politics, here's a photo that sums up my feelings:

Wednesday, March 29, 2017

UUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGH..... 
THIS BITCH

Yes, I know, the real problem is her Antichrist husband. And yes, I'm also aware that between Damien and his boss Cheeto von Trumpsky, we'd be better off with Damien because at least he's less likely start a nuclear war when some "furriner" on Twitter insults his fat orange ass one time too many. (Just to make it perfectly clear, the idea that Mike Pence is preferable to anyone--even a walking scrotum like Donald Trump--hurts my head so goddamn much I can barely force my fingers to type out that execrable thought.) 

Back to my original point: Karen Pence is a homophobic, pig-ignorant, small-minded, Bible-humping bigot. I know, most people with a functioning cerebral cortex realize that. But have they read this gem of a letter she wrote to The Indianapolis Star in 1991? Probably not, since the Washington Post puff piece about our dear second lady linked to an image from newspapers.com, which requires Hawkeye-level vision to read the flyspeck-sized print. Lucky for you--after an hour of pressing my face to the laptop screen, then holding it at arms-length and squinting, then pressing my face to the screen again, ad nauseum--I was able to decipher the damn thing and have transcribed it here in all its glory: 

As an elementary school teacher,* I was disappointed in your July 29 Children’s Express. I have always participated in your Newspapers in Education program and encouraged my pupils to read Children’s Express.
After seeing a whole page encouraging young people to accept their homosexuality I have decided no longer to use the Indianapolis Star to teach newspaper education.

Your implication that an 11 year old having a crush on a teacher of the same sex means that child is gay or lesbian is absurd. Every child at some point in grade school has a teacher he or she admires or looks up to. Your story also unfortunately encourages children to think they’re gay or lesbian if they have a close relationship with a child of the same sex. No wonder our youth are confused.

I only pray that most parents were able to intercept your article before their children were encouraged to call the Gay/Lesbian Youth Hotline, which encourages them to “accept their homosexuality” instead of reassuring them they are not.

Karen Pence
Indianapolis 
At this risk of repeating myself.....ugh, THIS BITCH.

"Oh noes, we can't have young people who are experiencing same-sex attraction be allowed to think that their feelings are acceptable in any way, shape, or form, or that they are anything other than filthy hell-bound perverts if their sexuality leans towards something other than the Jesus-approved 'Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve' variety. And furthermore, what business do they have acknowledging sexual feelings of any kind before marriage, anyway? HEATHENS!"

The fact that Karen Pence wrote a letter criticizing one of the most conservative, right-leaning newspapers in the country for (essentially) being "too liberal" on their stance of "teh homosex" is so absurd I don't even know where to begin. I mean, I grew up in Indianapolis. I know the politics of The Star (back in 1991 it was known as The Star and News, because people still read newspapers and the industry could support a morning and an evening publication, which seems like an alien concept today) and am quite familiar with the political climate of my hometown, especially in the pre-Clinton, George Bush Sr. years. Still, it illustrates how out-of-step this Pence bitch was (and still is), that The Indianapolis fucking Star had a more socially liberal posture than the future first couple of Indiana and future (gag) second couple of the United States.

I know that the Pences, like good little Christian fundies, fulfilled their biological purpose and spawned some children (Wikipedia says it was three--a son and two daughters). Is it dickish of me to hope that one of them turns out to be totally, unapologetically, outspokenly GAY? I don't think so. I really, really, really hope that happens. And not so the Pences can be shamed into disowning the kid. I'm talking about a "come-to-Jesus" (heh) awakening on LGBT issues, like the turnaround Dick "Darth Vader" Cheney did when he reversed his stance on gay marriage because of his lesbian daughter Mary. (That happened well after he left office, but still.) I'm going to do a Frau Pence and "pray" for that kind of a miracle.

In the meantime, this is for Karen......

via GIPHY

via GIPHY

via GIPHY


Looks like these kids might have read that Children's Express piece that got Karen's panties in such a wad, hmmmm?

via GIPHY

*Incidentally, while perusing Karen Pence's wikipedia page, I discovered a little factoid that nearly stopped my heart cold. Apparently, she taught at John Strange Elementary, my alma mater. I'm not sure when she was employed there, but I'm guessing it was long after my time (I was a student from 1979-1985). Still, that makes me several degrees closer to her than I'd ever choose to be.  

Friday, February 24, 2017

RESCUED FROM OBSCURITY 
Samantha Fox - "I Only Wanna Be With You"


Okay, I'm not even embarrassed by how much I love this one. 

Samantha Fox was more of a household name in the UK and Europe, but she managed a few Top 10 hits in the US during the late '80s. She started out as a topless Page 3 girl in 1983 at the age of 16 (okay, that's gross--but the age of consent in England is 16, so 16 in the UK = 18 in the US). At age 20 she "retired" from modeling and released her first record in 1986, Touch Me (I Want Your Body), an experimental, high-concept album that explored existential angst in the Reagan/Thatcher era (just kidding! It was bubblegum pop, of course). The title track shot to #3 in the UK charts and reached #4 in the US, which surprises me to learn--as I don't remember hearing it on the radio all that much--although MTV played the shit out of the video. 

Sam Fox in the "Touch Me (I Want Your Body)" video
I recall liking the song okay, but Sammy herself just didn't resonate with me at the time. Maybe because with her hair, the rhinestones, and all that denim, she looked more like a long-lost slutty Mandrell sister than a hip MTV starlet.

Who will get this reference?
Nobody born after 1980, that's for damn sure.


So then Sam came back in 1987 with a self-titled album and a new single, "Naughty Girls (Need Love Too)" (the girl liked parenthesis even more than I do). That song hit #3 in the US and the album itself was big in other markets--again, mostly in Europe and the UK, as well as Japan--they love blondes there, apparently. I had a French pen pal around that time and he and I would send each other mix tapes and magazine clippings; I remember he sent me a French fanzine and Samantha Fox was all over it, along with a cute 14-year-old gap-toothed pop singer called Vanessa Paradis, who became famous years later as the longtime paramour of Johnny Depp. Anyhoo, I found Sam's "Naughty Girls" song amusing, but not enough to buy the single or the album. I was happy to see that she'd hired a new stylist and was no longer dressing like a wayward Mandrell sister, though.

A subtle difference perhaps, but a big improvement.

Then in 1988, when I was 15 years old and entering my freshman year at boarding school, Samantha Fox came out with her third album. This time, I broke down and bought the thing because of this fucking song. It was a guilty pleasure and I couldn't get enough.

Not gonna lie, I still adore this.  

It wasn't an original, of course; Dusty Springfield recorded it first in 1963, then the Bay City Rollers did it in the '70s, along with a ton of other artists over the years (it's one of those old pop songs that tends to get covered a lot). But I have to say, I dig Sam's version the most.  

Looking at the video today, I'm struck by how, well, mature she appears. Samantha Fox was only 22 years old here, but in a lot of these shots she looks like someone's 40-year-old mom. She'd be the "cool" mom, though, the one who reads Jackie Collins novels and buys four-packs of Bartles and Jaymes wine coolers for her teen daughter and her friends, "as long as you drink it here at the house, girls. And don't get too tipsy, now--I don't want to get in trouble with your parents! Haha!"

Come on, I can't be the only one who sees it, right?
I also liked the title track, "I Wanna Have Some Fun," even though it hasn't aged as well as "IOWBWY". (In fact, it's a bit terrible.) Still, I have vivid memories of getting my groove on to that one at The Victory,* dancing in a circle with my friends, doing the white girl thing: feet planted, lots of hip swaying, elbow and shoulder action, along with the occasional hair toss. It's how we rolled in '88.

Samantha Fox is still a public figure, although she hasn't recorded an album in several years. Nowadays she mostly pops up as a guest host on Loose Women (basically a UK version of The View) and reality shows like Celebrity Big Brother and I'm a Celebrity...Get Me Out of Here. Although she was romantically linked to KISS's Paul Stanley (!) in the '80s, since 2003 she has been an out-and-proud lesbian and was in a long-term romantic relationship with her manager, Myra Stratton, who sadly passed away from cancer in 2015. Sam is apparently dating again, however, and has been pictured with new girlfriend Linda Olsen in recent months. 

Yay, I love a happy ending! :-)


*An under-21 nightclub in Evansville, IN. Do underage nightclubs still exist? I think they must be a relic of the '70s and '80s, since I can't imagine today's helicopter parents allowing their teens to shake their asses to raunchy club tunes til the wee hours of the night in a dark warehouse, with no adult supervision.    







Friday, February 17, 2017

BREAKING: VIOLENT SELF-RIGHTEOUS ASSHOLES 
BEHAVE LIKE VIOLENT SELF-RIGHTEOUS ASSHOLES

Note: This is NOT a rant against transgender people. I support transgender causes and I believe that trans people have the right to live safely and freely as the gender they feel themselves to be. I also have transgender friends in Minneapolis, and could not imagine any of them aligning themselves with trolls like the ones who apparently comprise this GAG group. Furthermore, I don't believe the people who staged this protest--particularly the "very tall, loud person" described below--are actually transgender. I believe the group that put on this pathetic display at the Vancouver Women's Library is not a genuine part of the transgender community. In fact, it would appear that GAG is nothing more than a dangerous fringe group; basically the secular equivalent of the Westboro Baptist Church. Like the WBC, GAG seems to be a bunch of idiotic, rage-filled trolls who get their jollies by behaving like fascist bullies.
******************************************************************************

The Vancouver Women's Library--a volunteer-run feminist organization dedicated to promoting and continuing the legacy of women-run bookstores, presses and libraries--were met with a group of hostile protesters at their official opening on Friday, February 3. According to Guerilla Feminist Collective, "the protesters held signs and shouted at people entering the space. They poured wine over the books. They smoked inside when asked not to. They pulled the fire alarm. Some of them tried to bar--then pushed--women entering the space. As far as we saw, men were left alone to come and go as they pleased." (That last sentence, as you'll see, is rather telling.)

So who the hell were these protesters? Hateful alt-right activists? Nazis? MRA's? Nope. The protesters who showed up at the library to disrupt the opening, threaten (female) patrons and destroy property were members of a group of queer activists who call themselves GAG--"Gays Against Gentrification." 


Image taken from feministcurrent.com
Destroying books? Seriously? That is some Hitler-level shit right there.

One of the library's patrons took a video of these destructive little pukes, and posted it online. The video was available up until Saturday 2/11, but it has mysteriously disappeared from Vimeo as of Sunday 2/12. (Gee, wonder who was responsible for that?) Luckily, the excellent blog Butterflies and Wheels provided a detailed description* of what went down. BTW, I watched the video when it was still up, and I found the play-by-play below to be 100% accurate.

FYI....the "very tall loud person" referenced several times in the description below is (reportedly) a GAG "activist" named J---- ehrm, make that "Mason Biatch." Yes, I fumbled his name a bit because I don't want him googling himself and finding his way here. I have an intense hatred of trolls and will not stand for their shit on my blog.

The hat-less person underneath the yellow sign? Yeah. THAT ONE.
Also, lying on the floor towards the bottom left side of the pic,
you can see the poster that he ripped off the wall.

A description of the protest (from Butterflies and Wheels):
The very tall loud person tears down a poster, and several people cry “Get out!” The very tall loud person does not get out.
About 2:40 The person with bangs next to the very tall loud person says “No SWERFs! No TERFs!” 
The very tall loud person immediately shouts “NO FUCKING TERFS in this FUCKING NEIGHBORHOOD.”
At this point talk becomes general, and less shouty…until at 3:00 the very tall loud person says with loud emphasis “BECAUSE WE DON’T WANT YOU IN OUR FUCKING SPACES.”
Women from the library gather in front of the very tall loud person (who looms over them) and the very tall loud person shouts at them.
At about 3:45 the very tall loud person bellows at them “NO YOU’RE ATTACKING THE WRONG FUCKING PEOPLE.”
The conversation goes on, mostly centered on the very tall loud person. Whenever very tall loud person talks louder (which is often), TLP also flails an arm up and down for emphasis – and, perhaps, for intimidation. That may be unconscious, or it may not.
About 4:40 – again with the very tall loud person shouting and flailing the hand up and down, inches from the face of one of the library women. No, I don’t think that can be unconscious.
5:12 the very tall loud person shouts into a woman’s face: “I’M A WOMAN.”
Okay, the very tall loud person says at the beginning “as a trans person” and a bit later “you said I’m not a real woman.”
At 5:12 the very tall loud person spells it out (by shouting into a woman’s face). But here’s the thing: the trans woman is carrying on exactly like an angry entitled bullying man with no scruples about bullying women. The trans woman is carrying on like Donald Trump. Isn’t it interesting how this particular kind of “activism” apparently functions as permission for large people with loud voices to do that? Isn’t it interesting that this “woman” has zero inhibitions about using typically male advantages of size and voice volume to bully and berate women? 

*The full account of the video is available here --
http://www.butterfliesandwheels.org/2017/activism-in-action/)

As if that hideous display wasn't enough, the same half-wit thugs came back a week later and spray painted anti-feminist slurs on the building that houses the Vancouver Women's Library. 


More details here: Vancouver Illiteracy Project
This "GAG" group is trying to argue that they aren't welcome in "feminist spaces" because they're transgender (again, I call bullshit on any of them even being transgender). The truth is that they make themselves unwelcome by acting like violent, misogynistic dickheads. And people who act like that should be not be welcome anywhere.

In the words of a commenter on B and W:
"Wouldn’t everyone benefit from more places serving under-served or vulnerable groups? Go start your own! How does it make sense to bully the people (i.e. The Vancouver Women's Library) who created something because they didn’t create it to your specifications?"
WORD. Transgender libraries should exist. Transgender spaces should exist. Additionally, if a hateful little fringe group like "GAG" wants to start its own library, they should fucking GO DO IT. But they should not be allowed to vandalize a building, destroy its books, and act all confrontational and intimidating towards peaceful feminists. I'll say it once more, with feeling: Trolls like the ones who make up "GAG" should not be welcome in feminist spaces, or anywhere else. They sure as hell have no place in my world. 


And "Mason Biatch" can go fuck himself sideways.

Friday, January 20, 2017

WE CAN'T AFFORD TO BE COMPLACENT 






All images above from The New Yorker, except for this one right here:  

(I was messing around with the Photo Editor app last night.) 

Monday, January 16, 2017

COUNTDOWN TO D-DAY


You know how Herr Cheeto mocked Hillary for having all these A-list superstars (Beyonce, Lady Gaga, George Clooney, etc.) going to bat for her, and how he tried to say he didn't "need" the support of those heavy hitters because he wanted a low-key, dignified celebration of America and American values or whatever? 




Yeah, not buying that for a second.

Seeing as how Donald Trump was, is, and always will be the most egregious famewhore who ever famewhored, the ONLY thing that matters to him is getting his bitter orange ass sucked by the cream of the crop, the most famous of the famous, the best of the best.

And he has to settle for Chachi Arcola from Happy Days and Jagger from General Hospital

Meanwhile, Hillary would've easily scored Richie Cunningham 
and Mick Jagger without breaking a sweat. 
   
That sort of schadenfruede is the only thing that's cheering me up about this whole mess. That, and the fact that Trump's narcissism is the only thing holding him together. I mean, when even right-wing douchetard Gene Simmons declines an offer to perform, you know The Great Pumpkin has gotta be like an ass hair away from suffering a giant orange meltdown. 

So it seems that at least he's getting the inauguration that he deserves. Cold comfort for sure, but in times like these you gotta take what you can get. 

Thursday, January 12, 2017

PAUL RYAN: AN EMBARRASSMENT 
TO THE RYAN FAMILY NAME*

Many thanks to my friend Natalie S., who provided the original inspiration for this post. 

Paul Ryan has the countenance and wit of a guy who has been browbeaten, emasculated and humiliated by every significant female figure in his life.  

You know the guy, or--if you don't know him--you know the stereotype. The guy who's always on his cell phone having this sort of conversation with his wife: 

"Hey hon? I can't stay home with Kaitlynn and Dakota on Sunday. Remember, I was going to go over to Dave's house to watch the game? I did tell you. No, I did. But--it's the Super Bowl. You don't remember?" *Sigh*........................................"Yes, I'm still here. Yes. Yes. Right. Okay. Sure. No, I'm not mad. I'm not. I'm not. That's fine. That's fine. I'm fine with that. That's fine. You go have your spa day with Jenn and Jess. I'll just....I'll take the kids to Chuck E. Cheese or something. Maybe they'll have the game on there." *Presses palm into forehead.* "Right. Okay. Okay. Okay. I told you I'm not mad. I'm not. I'm not. All right. See you when I get home. Okay. Okay. Okay. Goodbye."    

Consequently, he makes this face a lot....

"No, really--I'm fine with that. It's fine. Everything's fine."

In a perfect world, Paul Ryan would still be living in Janesville, Wisconsin, working in middle management, shuttling his preciously-named kids around in a minivan, quietly resenting his wife, and clearing the cache on his browser every night so his "better half" doesn't find out that he jerks it to babysitter porn at every possible opportunity.

But alas, the little pindick is in Washington where at this very moment he is working tirelessly to push legislation that restricts access to abortion, birth control, cancer screenings, and anything else he can think of to shit all over women's healthcare and reproductive rights.

I prefer alternate universe Paul Ryan, the one stuck in Janesville with a passive aggressive, boner-killing wife. I even feel a tiny bit sorry for that version of him. 

But not this guy. Fuck this guy.

   


*according to a source who really hopes she's not related to him.