Friday, July 31, 2015


Kill Walter Palmer, that is. With extreme prejudice. And while we're at it, let's rid the planet of Kristen Lindsey* and Kendall Jones because fuck them too.

Earlier this month a sunken-eyed, dried-out corpse purportedly known as Minnesota dentist Walter Palmer killed a lion because he's an evil little pindick who's fond of illegally slaughtering any creature he can get within 100 feet of; a diseased turd of a man with hideous fake choppers and a penchant for sexually harassing his female employees.

Picture this abomination of nature forcing you to engage in "unwanted physical contact" involving your
"breasts, buttocks, and genitalia." Makes you want to scream and run under a shower, right?

I've been hyperventilating about this along with the rest of the world, signing online petitions to have his lily-white Romney-supporting ass extradited to Zimbabwe and joining Facebook groups to talk about what a psychopath he is and how anyone who hunts is a cousin-banging, cross-eyed redneck scumbag, and I have nearly hit outrage-fatigue. So I thought it would be cleansing and cathartic to write a brief post pointing out what a putrid, festering hunk of undead flesh this asshole is, insult his penis size, and call him a murderer. 

And guess what? I do feel kind of better now. 

Oh yeah, there's also this:

And this....

 And I'd be remiss if I didn't include....


Okay, I feel much better now. 

*Speaking of that other vile slab of meat, go here for information on filing a complaint to revoke Lindsey's vet license. (Online petitions are great, but this one needs an extra push with official paperwork.)


Ms Sparrow said...

Thanks for the poetic justice graphic. I will find good use for it. I wonder how "big game hunter" ever came to be a respectable occupation--if it ever was. However, with the loss of every individual animal a threat to the continuation of that species, it is reprehensible and unforgivable to kill an endangered animal just because it's big! Palmer is a sorry excuse for a human being. He should be declared a non-human and open hunting season declared on him. Discovery Channel could do a series about his last desperate days on Earth as you and your legion of dedicated pursuers run him into the ground! Onward and upward!

andiepants said...

I think the ONE positive thing to come out of Cecil's murder is that it's shedding light on the awful "big game" hunting industry (and hunting in general). Both Zimbabwe and Botswana have suspended hunting of elephants, lions, and rhinos. I hope more African countries follow suit.

There are more gross psychos out there like Sabrina Corgatelli, Rebecca Francis, Alison Reynolds, Kendall Jones, and Jimmy John Liautaud (CEO of Jimmy John's --I used to love their sandwiches but I haven't been back since finding out about Liautaud), all high-profile big game hunters who should also be taken down like Walter Palmer. Hopefully their time has come, too.