Thursday, September 29, 2005

Dude, Where's My Car?

Yesterday morning I overslept and was running late to work--finally setting foot outside my apartment at around 7:40 am (which means no hope of getting there by 8:00 since the job is way out in the 'burbs). So I make it to the street and it's cold, pouring rain, and barely light outside (ugh). As I'm shivering on the sidewalk, holding my dry cleaning over my head (forgot my umbrella, natch), I look up and down the street and realize that I have no idea where I parked my car the night before. And it's not like I'd been drinking, I was stone cold sober when I drove home from my writer's group Tuesday night. I just don't remember actually parking the car.

A few words of explanation: my neighboorhood is fairly trendy and there are quite a few coffee shops, bars, restaurants, and other establishments in the immediate area that are open late into the evening. So basically, trying to find a parking space anywhere within a four-block radius of my building after 7pm is damn near impossible. Therefore, I never get to park in the same place twice, and I'm used to vulturing for parking spaces and hiking the few blocks back to my apartment if I come home at night. I guess I've grown so used to this that I didn't even happen to notice where I'd parked when I got home the night before.

So, I took a guess and headed down the next block to see if I could find my car. I walked about half a block, squinted down the next street, and saw...


I stood forlornly in the middle of the street and contemplated my situation. My hose and high heels were completely soaked from the rain, 8:00 was nigh and there was no car in sight. That's when I made an executive decision.

I wouldn't make it to work that day.

Turning on my heel, I quickly splashed through the puddles back to my building. I unlocked my door, threw down my stuff, and peeled off my wet clothes. Settling down between the sheets, I placed a call to the temp agency, and in my best sick voice rolled out the old "food poisoning" standby. I hung up the phone, pulled the covers over my head, and was asleep again within minutes.

It was a good day.

1 comment:

Marcus said...

Food poisoning is a great excuse. No one wants to talk to you about your vomit and shit, which is why it's perfect.

ME. Hey, boss, I won't make it into work today.
BOSS. Why?
ME. I think I have food poisoning. I've been up all night in the bathroom shi---
BOSS. Enough! Take the day off!

And back to bed I go. Heh heh, suckers!!!